Week 49

Here are some highlights for leading into Week 49 🙂

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    I don’t usually let things happen to me. I made a mistake this time. I shouldn’t have waited for you to throw me out. I should have left long ago.

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    “The famous flutings on the famous columns—what are they there for? To hide the joints in wood—when columns were made of wood, only these aren’t, they’re marble. The triglyphs, what are they? Wood. Wooden beams, the way they had to be laid when people began to build wooden shacks. Your Greeks took marble and they made copies of their wooden structures out of it, because others had done it that way. Then your masters of the Renaissance came along and made copies in plaster of copies in marble of copies in wood. Now here we are, making copies in steel and concrete of copies in plaster of copies in marble of copies in wood. Why?”

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    Every form has its own meaning. Every man creates his meaning and form and goal. Why is it so important—what others have done? Why does it become sacred by the mere fact of not being your own? Why is anyone and everyone right—so long as it’s not yourself? Why does the number of those others take the place of truth? Why is truth made a mere matter of arithmetic—and only of addition at that? Why is everything twisted out of all sense to fit everything else? There must be some reason. I don’t know. I’ve never known it. I’d like to understand.

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    “You don’t care what others think—which might be understandable. But you don’t care even to make them think as you do?”

    “No.”

    “But that’s … that’s monstrous.”

    “Is it? Probably. I couldn’t say.”

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    “How do you always manage to decide?”

    “How can you let others decide for you?”

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    Peter Keating looked at the streets of New York. The people, he observed, were extremely well dressed. … He glanced regretfully at his own clothes. He had a great deal to learn in New York.

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    Quite incongruously, Keating felt as if a conveyer belt was under his feet, from the moment he crossed the threshold. It carried him to the reception clerk who sat at a telephone switchboard behind the white balustrade of a Florentine balcony. It transferred him to the threshold of a huge drafting room.

  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

    Men hate passion, any great passion. Henry Cameron made a mistake: he loved his work. That was why he fought. That was why he lost. … People said he never knew that he had lost. If he did, he never let them see it.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness in our lives; it’s the process that teaches us the most about who we are.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    I define wholehearted living as engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    The epigraph for Daring Greatly is Theodore Roosevelt’s powerful quote from his 1910 “Man in the Arena” speech: It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly;…who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time. Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Daring is not saying, “I’m willing to risk failure.” Daring is saying, “I know I will eventually fail and I’m still all in.” Fortune may favor the bold, but so does failure.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    “Show me a woman who can hold space for a man in real fear and vulnerability, and I’ll show you a woman who’s learned to embrace her own vulnerability and who doesn’t derive her power or status from that man. Show me a man who can sit with a woman in real fear and vulnerability and just hear her struggle without trying to fix it or give advice, and I’ll show you a man who’s comfortable with his own vulnerability and doesn’t derive his power from being Oz, the all-knowing and all-powerful.”

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    The Reckoning—Men and women who rise strong are willing and able to reckon with their emotions. First, they recognize that they’re feeling something—a button has been pushed, they’re hooked, something is triggered, their emotions are off-kilter. Second, they get curious about what’s happening and how what they’re feeling is connected to their thoughts and behaviors. Engaging in this process is how we walk into our story.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    The Rumble—Men and women who rise strong are willing and able to rumble with their stories. By rumble, I mean they get honest about the stories they’ve made up about their struggles and they are willing to revisit, challenge, and reality-check these narratives as they dig into topics such as boundaries, shame, blame, resentment, heartbreak, generosity, and forgiveness.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Anger, blame, and avoidance are the ego’s bouncers. When we get too close to recognizing an experience as an emotional one, these three spring into action. It’s much easier to say, “I don’t give a damn,” than it is to say, “I’m hurt.” The ego likes blaming, finding fault, making excuses, inflicting payback, and lashing out, all of which are ultimate forms of self-protection. The ego is also a fan of avoidance—assuring the offender that we’re fine, pretending that it doesn’t matter, that we’re impervious. We adopt a pose of indifference or stoicism, or we deflect with humor and cynicism.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    We can take the edge off emotional pain with a whole bunch of stuff, including alcohol, drugs, food, sex, relationships, money, work, caretaking, gambling, affairs, religion, chaos, shopping, planning, perfectionism, constant change, and the Internet. And just so we don’t miss it in this long list of all the ways we can numb ourselves, there’s always staying busy: living so hard and fast that the truths of our lives can’t catch up with us. We fill every ounce of white space with something so there’s no room or time for emotion to make itself known.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    The core (sometimes the entirety) of my SFD is normally these six sentences with maybe a few notes.

    The story I’m making up:

    My emotions:

    My body:

    My thinking:

    My beliefs:

    My actions:

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment. … The trick to staying out of resentment is maintaining better boundaries—blaming others less and holding myself more accountable for asking for what I need and want.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    There is no integrity in blaming and turning to “it’s not fair” and “I deserve.” I need to take responsibility for my own well-being. If I believed I was not being treated fairly or not getting something I deserved, was I actually asking for it, or was I just looking for an excuse to assign blame and feel self-righteous?

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    In Daring Greatly, I talk about how the lyrics of Leonard Cohen’s song “Hallelujah”—“Love is not a victory march, it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah”—capture how daring greatly can feel more like freedom with a little battle fatigue than a full-on celebration. The same is true for rising strong.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Can you be kind and respectful to your friend if he or she is hurting you? The answer is no, and this leads to a couple of choices: The easy solution is to be unkind and disrespectful back, or to walk away. The courageous answer is to look at this friend and say, “I care about you and I’m sorry that you’re going through a hard time. But I need to talk to you about what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Nelson Mandela wrote, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    The brokenhearted are the bravest among us—they dared to love.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Archbishop Tutu writes: To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things: The depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger. However, when I talk of forgiveness, I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person. A better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred. Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator. If you can find it in yourself to forgive, then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person, too.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Neither one of us could really articulate how we felt until I heard Lamott referencing Paul Tillich and telling the audience, “The opposite of faith is not doubt—it’s certainty.”

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    If our story includes shame, perfectionism, or comparison and we’re left feeling isolated or “less than,” we need to employ two completely counterintuitive strategies. We need to:

    1. Talk to ourselves in the same way we’d talk to someone we love.

    2. Reach out to someone we trust—a person who has earned the right to hear our story and who has the capacity to respond with empathy. The second strategy is especially effective because shame can’t survive being spoken. It thrives on secrecy, silence, and judgment.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    My favorite definition of despair comes from author and pastor Rob Bell: Despair is a spiritual condition. It’s the belief that tomorrow will be just like today.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    One of the greatest challenges of becoming myself has been acknowledging that I’m not who I thought I was supposed to be or who I always pictured myself being.

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown

    Emotions are contagious and when we’re stressed or anxious or afraid our children can be quickly engulfed in the same emotions. More information means less fear-based story-making.

4 Replies to “Week 49”

      1. 😝 i think it was through this book that i learned — but not necessarily completely agree with — that “there is virtue in selfishness.”

        that might be ayn rand’s famous quotes?

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